


Letters to Arya

by Natale_Noelle



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, Character Development, Confessions, Criminal Minds Inspired, F/M, Fugitives, Games, Letters, Murder, Revenge, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-04-24 09:29:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4914208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natale_Noelle/pseuds/Natale_Noelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sansa's in prison. She's on death row, and all she has left is her story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Letter

**Author's Note:**

> The basic idea for this was my sister's but she didn't like it, sooo...  
> I got it!!! Ha! Take that! :)
> 
> I love this idea so much, I hope you guys will to!
> 
> I highly recommend listening to Victorious by Panic at the Disco while reading this chapter. I was listening to it on repeat as I wrote.

Dear Arya,

I have no idea where you are, but I trust Petyr to get these letters to you. The doctor here told me that I should write everything that has happened in the past few years down, and then destroy what I wrote. He’s under the impression that I’m in denial about everything that happened, and that I’m actually a victim. I’m neither. I used to see myself as the victim, but not anymore. I originally wasn’t going to write anything, I would so much prefer to keep everything to myself, but I’m being forced to. I decided that if I have to spill everything, I might as well not let the confession go to waste, so all of these letters are for you. We have not seen each other in seven years, and before we didn’t even get along, but you are the last family I have left from what I like to call the “old days.” Giving you these letters is me putting the life of someone I love very dearly in your hands. I wouldn’t be surprised that if Petyr knew what I was filling these letters with he wouldn’t send them. I can’t believe I’m actually trusting someone other than him, but I am. The doctor told me to write in as much detail as possible, and to write like I’m telling a story. That’s what I’ll do, and I’m not leaving one little detail out. I remember the 3 years before coming here perfectly. They’re permanently etched in my mind. Anyway I might as well start. I’ll start from Joffrey's wedding. Anything before then is still to painful to talk about. All you need to know about that time is that my “favourite” accessories were the ones Joffrey gave to me with his fists.

 

 

Every single person outside of Joffrey's family believed that I should have been sad to be set aside. I wasn’t, I was ecstatic. I had spent the few years after our family’s death, and before Joffrey's wedding in constant torment. Joffrey loved to hit me, and hurt me in anyway he could without inflicting any permanent damage. Cersei loved to mock me, humiliate me, and remind me I was only with them because she wanted dad’s assets. I never fought back. I was weak. I let them hurt me, and I thanked  them for it! I cried every single day. I was helpless. What made everything all the more worse was that I was always reminded that I was to marry Joffrey. So when he started seeing Margaery I was so relieved because he spent less time with me. Then when they decided to get engaged I was thrilled. I think I might have actually smiled. I was foolish enough to think that I would be allowed to leave, that they would let me go. It was as if Cersei could read my thoughts because she quickly made me realize that I would never leave. At least not until she got dad’s assets and money. Margaery just loved to pretend we were friends, she included me in everything she did. Especially with the wedding, but she had a way of nicely rubbing in my face that she would be marrying him and not me. Despite everything he had done I couldn’t help but feel jealous and hurt. But I played the best friend the best I could. I was rewarded by receiving an invitation to the party after the wedding. Apparently Cersei didn’t want me at the wedding. She most likely thought I would ruin her perfect son’s perfect wedding. I was actually excited to be able to go, you should remember I always loved parties especially formal ones.

I had picked the prettiest black dress to wear. If I had worn it Cersei would have been furious. It was the same dress I wore to our family’s funeral, if you remember what I wore. I doubt you do. The dress was my way of rebelling. Even if bruises would decorate my body after.

It was the night before the wedding when I got the package. It was fairly large and it was just sitting on my bed. To be honest the first thought that went through my head was It’s a trick. Joffrey probably has something horrid in there. So for a few hours I just sat next to it not even touching it. Eventually my curiosity overcame my fear. Inside was a dress to rival the one Margaery was going to wear. It was white, but not bright white, it was closer to a very light grey than pure white. It had a very high collar and went all the way down to cover my feet, but the trim made up for it. The trim was several wolves chasing each other it was like a line of them. I absolutely loved it, but I was slightly nervous to wear it because I didn’t want to feel Joffrey and Cersei’s wrath if I even slightly overshadowed Marge. I wore it anyway. It fit me perfectly. But I noticed something. There was a hidden pocket with something in it. It was a knife. Can you image the fear I must have felt when I walked into the party with a knife in my pocket? I truly believed Cersei would stroll over and grab the knife, then I would be in for some pain. I almost ditched the knife in the bushes. Almost.

The party dragged on and on. I wasn’t allowed to do anything except sit in the corner and look pretty. Joffrey made me dance with him, he spent the entire time promising me that he was going to fuck my brains out, and how I would beg him for more. It took all of my strength to keep the tears from streaming down my cheeks. When he finally let me go I practically ran to an empty room. Of course I didn’t actually run, Cersei wouldn’t have approved. The second I closed the door the tears broke through my mental damn. They splashed onto my perfect white dress. Seeing the beautiful fabric being ruined by my tears, by my weakness, only made things worse. I was nowhere near calming down when I heard the light click of the door locking. You can’t even imagine the fear and panic that surged through me. I just knew I was in for it. I almost screamed when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I refused to look up at the hand’s owner just in case it was Joffrey. Never look him in the eye, that was a fundamental rule I had to live by. It felt as if a massive weight was taken off my shoulders when I heard his voice instead of Joffrey’s.

“Calm down, sweetling. I didn’t mean to startle you.” His voice was calm, as if he hadn’t just broken a cardinal rule. Don’t touch Joffrey's toys.

“You didn’t startle me. Thank you for your concern.” The words slipped from my lips automatically. “You look very handsome tonight.”

“Sure I do. You haven’t even looked at me yet.” His finger gently pressed up from under my chin making me look right into his grey-green eyes. I was looking into the eyes of one of Cersei’s most trusted advisors. I tried to divert my eyes, but he wouldn’t let me. Suddenly the thought of Joffrey took over my mind. Fear boiled over inside of me.

“I’m so sorry, but I must be going. Wouldn’t want to make anyone worry.” I stood up and smoothed out my dress as I spoke. I had to get out of there. He would’ve surely reported everything that had transpired to Cersei, then to Joffrey.

“Of course.” His eyes and voice were thick with amusement. “Wouldn’t want to worry Joffrey.” He moved out of my way, and even gestured toward the door.

“Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful night.”

“I bet he will if he follows through on his promises.” I froze with my hand right over the door-knob. “To our very lucky Margaery of course.” The way he said it made it clear that he wasn’t talking about her. I was searching frantically for something to say, but I couldn’t think of anything. My mind was blank. “I’m sure he has a few surprises in his pocket…” I couldn’t handle it anymore, I had to leave, courtesy be damned. I was halfway out the door when I heard the rest of his sentence, “as do you.” Once again frozen in place I looked over my shoulder and saw him smirking. I couldn’t help it as my hand travelled hesitantly towards the secret pocket in the dress. “What a beautiful dress, I wonder where you got it?”

Everything seemed to click into place at that moment. It wasn’t a good feeling at all. Can you imagine if a trusted advisor to one of your tormentors gave you a dress with knife in it? It was beyond confusing and terrifying. Despite myself I walked back into the room, and shut the door. I was still speechless.

“You look absolutely beautiful, more than your mother ever did.” The mention of our mom stung worse than anyone will ever know. He had taken a few steps closer to me as he spoke. “The white makes you hair look as if on fire.” Another few steps were taken. “Although your skin still looks impossibly pale.” He was only a few feet away. “You can almost see your veins through your skin.” He was standing right infront of me, not even an arm’s length away. He gently brushed my hair behind my shoulder. “Especially this one.” Suddenly he kissed my neck, right where my vein was. I tried to force my body to jump back, but I was held in place by fear, and a very foreign feeling. Leaving my neck he smiled, no he smirked right in front of my face. “Did you know this,” he tapped my vein, “is one your major arteries? If it were to be punctured it would be certain death, and a quick one at that.” His eyes were boring into mine. For some reason, I still can’t fathom, I didn’t know why he was telling me that. Well, until he spoke again. “All it would take is one quick thrust,” his hand pretended to stab my neck. At that moment I knew exactly what he was suggesting, and I couldn’t believe that he was actually suggesting murder. He seemed to know exactly what I was thinking because he leaned towards me. I can’t believe I was expecting a kiss, but I stupidly was. His mouth was just inches from my ear when he whispered, “You’d be free.”

That’s literally all it took, and my mind ran away with silly notions of killing Joffrey. I started imagining slamming my hand with the knife within it down into his neck. Is it horrible that I got excited at the notion of ending my misery, by taking another’s life? I didn’t seem to care that I was inching closer and closer to passing the line that thinly defined right and wrong. He chuckled lightly, and barely uttered, “that’s what I thought.” I was to preoccupied in my disturbing thoughts to even try to respond to his comment. It was several moments later before our silence was disturbed again.

“Sansa! Where the hell are you? Are you in there?” The sound of the doorknob being violently turned over and over again rung through the room. All that be described as pure horror filled every fiber of my being as I realized the voice belonged to Joffrey. “Bitch! Let me in!”

“Calm down, sweetling.” The man, who I was only able to name then, as Petyr Baelish softly suggested. I just gave him the best glare I could managed, and he laughed.

“Sansa! Let me in! Sansa!” He sounded angrier. I took a quick worried glance back at the door. When I turned my head back around Petyr was already at the back door.

“Good luck.” He offered with a smirk that didn’t reach his eyes.

  
  


 

Damn it! Sorry, Arya that I have to end this letter at that wonderful cliffhanger, but they just called five minutes to lights out. I have get this to Oswell tonight or no letter for awhile. I’ll get the second letter to you as soon as I can. Please, whatever you do, do NOT visit me or send a reply. It’s not safe.

-Love,

Sansa


	2. Second Letter

Dear Arya,

I am so sorry about last week! I lost track of time. It’s really easy to do that here. Anyway I’ll try better this time. I only have one day to write each letter so I won’t be able to get everything in that I want. It kinda sucks, but it’s better than nothing.

 

When I heard the soft click of the door shutting I smoothed out my dress and tried to collect all the courage I possibly could. I was failing, my murderous resolve was fading.

“Oh! Bitch you better let me in or you’ll wish you’d never met me.” With that one sentence Joffrey had just signed his own death warrant. The fact that he actually thought I didn’t already wish that, that I was stupid enough to think letting him would spare me any pain, sent me over the edge.

“I’m so sorry. I just wanted to be alone.” I said as pathetically weak and defeated as possible. God, he was such an idiot to fall for such a bad performance.

“I know, but you don’t get to be alone unless I say. You’re mine!” He scolded, as he gently traced my cheek with his fingers. I remember feeling bile rise in my throat, not just because of him, but because at one point I actually _craved_ that twist’s touch. On the flip of a coin he grabbed my hair and used it to pull me to the middle of the room, and down onto my knees. He had yanked so hard that my scalp was bleeding, I could feel the blood trickle down my nose. I was on autopilot. I found myself slamming my eyes shut like I had so many times before. I braced myself for the inevitable. It didn’t come, all I heard was heavy footsteps and something being removed. My eyes opened ever so slightly just to placate my curiosity. He had just grabbed one of the metal tools sitting in front of the fireplace. It was the shovel looking one.

“How dare you come to my wedding reception and outshine my wife!” Before he was even finished I heard a swoosh. _Smack!_ The flat of the shovel hit my back with full force sending me forward. There were strange screeching sounds that I couldn’t place until I realized that they were coming from me. _Smack!_ Another swing hit my back. _Smack!_ And another.

“Did you think that you were free? You are mine!” He all but screamed. I fully expected another meeting with the shovel, but it didn’t happen. Instead something even worse happened. He grabbed the back collar of my dress and yanked back on to me knees. With a shove I was on all fours. My dress was being hiked up and I heard the tell-tale zip of a zipper being undone. His fingers had just touched my underwear when I spun and swung chaotically and blindly. I felt the knife, that I still have no idea how it got into my hand, strike something. Opening my eyes I saw exactly where the knife was lodged. It was in Joffrey's neck, exactly where Petyr told me to stab him. Joffrey was clawing so frantically at his neck, but to use. He was fastly losing the battle to stay alive. He was losing to much blood, and I hadn’t even pulled the knife out. That’s exactly what I did next. The second the knife was free he collapsed to the floor into a pool of his own crimson blood. Now I see the irony of it. He died in a pool liquid the same color as the sigil of the family that was supposed to protect him.

The adrenaline dissipated just as quickly as it had surged through my body. I collapsed on to the blood spattered white couch. You might be able to imagine the panic and hysteria that monopolized my mind. I was never meant to kill a person, I wasn’t built for it. In all honesty I’m still not. I was in a daze rocking back and forth. Nothing seemed to reach me.

It took Petyr shaking me almost violently for me to come back to my senses. That was until I saw Joffrey's dead body only inches from me. I went ballistic. Petyr tried to calm me down and rush me out of the room, but I wasn’t having it. There was a bit of a struggle between the two of us. Eventually I calmed down enough to realize that I should listen to him and get the fuck out of there, but that was only after I had clawed off a pin he had been wearing. At the time I think he knew how dangerous it was to leave the pin in Joffrey's pool, but we did anyway. Honestly we had to. We could here Cersei’s voice echoing down the hallway. Everything next happened in a blurr. One minute we were rushing through the halls, and the next I was lying down in the backseat of a speeding car.

God, I was so confused. I had never really talked to Petyr, and yet he was helping me. It just didn’t make any sense to me. Honestly it still doesn’t.

That car ride went on forever. You’d think that after what just happened there would be a lot that needed to talked about, but apparently not. Not a word was spoken the entire ride. Which was fine with me. I remember just sitting with my head against the window watching the scenery race by. It was peaceful but terrifying for two reasons. I could see exactly how far away we were going, but I could tell that we weren’t going north like I wanted. We were going somewhere where I wouldn’t be known. That should’ve been comforting, but it wasn’t. The other reason was that I was able to just think. All I thought of was the way the blood spattered when I stabbed Joffrey. The way he fell like a rag-doll when I pulled the knife from his neck. The calm in Peter's eyes. That calm, I still believe, is what scared me the most.

We stopped in front of a run down motel in the middle of nowhere. By that time I had come back to my senses, and was able to think rationally. I remember arguing with myself on whether I should run away the moment the door opens or stay with him. Maybe I should take back my earlier statement about being able to think rationally. I wasn’t which is obvious by the choice I made. I ran.

I didn’t make it far, not even two steps before he grabbed me. He pulled me to him, so it looked like we were hugging. We definitely weren’t. Hugging requires some amount of friendship, and I hated him. He held me there until I stopped fighting him.

“Sweetling, think this through.” I took his tone as condescending.

“I am! Let me go!” I started struggling again.

“No you aren’t.” He said matter of factly. “How far do you think you’ll make it on your own before they catch you?” Despite trying to ignore him, his words got to me. “You have no money, no friends, except me, and you’re wearing a blood stained dress. You’ll be caught or dead in less than a week I can guarantee that. That is unless you stick with me. I have money, friends all across the country, and I’ve a change of clothes in the trunk. Oh, let’s not forget two things. I have a plan, and I’m the reason you’re free. So do me a favour and calm down and actually listen.”

All I could say was, “fine!”

“Glad we could settle that, now go change.” He commanded as he handed me clean clothes. “Meet me in the office.”

When I met him in the office I had my dress in my arms folded so that no one could see the dried blood on it. I stood timidly behind Petyr as he talked with the man behind the desk. The man eyed me suspiciously, his eyes flitting between Petyr and I. The look of suspicious was at first pointed at me, then it was pointed at Petyr.

“Ma’am are you okay?” He asked me directly, completely ignoring  Petyr.

“My daughter doesn’t do well in long car rides…” Before Petyr could add another thing the man interrupted him.

“I didn’t ask you. Miss?”

I had a moment of panic and indecision. I could’ve easily said no and the man could’ve helped me get away from Petyr, but I didn’t for the very reason Petyr told me earlier.

“Ya, I’m good. My stomach just hurts that’s all. I get really carsick! It takes a bit for my stomach to calm down. Sorry to worry you! I didn’t mean to.” There was still a bit of suspicion in his eyes so I suddenly doubled over and faked dry heaved. Petyr reacted very quickly after he gave me a knowing smirk.

“Can I please get our room key!” His voice had a touch concern in it. That small touch made all the difference.

“Ya sure! Sorry about that.” The man looked truly sorry. “You just can’t be sure in these parts.”

“No need to apologize. I completely understand.” Petyr quickly replied and then he guided me away.

 

 

I think this is a good place to stop, considering the shit storm that’s about to happen. I have a feeling the next one’s going to be a long one. I hope you’re not faint of heart. Who am I kidding you never were. Well, anyway take this as a warning, if you thought this was disturbing, then you’re in for a surprise. Some things that happen later in the story make this seem like sunshine and rainbows.

-Love,

    Sansa


End file.
